Join the Starman as he covers tonight’s Raw Supershow as it happens live from Washington, DC.
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Footage of the new Three Stooges movie is aired as we are informed that they will be the guest stars of tonight’s show. Plus, Mark Henry will get a rematch for the WWE Championship against CM Punk. The pyro goes off as we are welcomed to tonight’s Supershow by the music of John Laurinaitis, who comes down to the ring with David Otunga. Laurinaitis rolls footage of what happened last week with the return of Brock Lesnar and taking John Cena down with an F5. Laurinaitis then introduces the new face of the WWE and the person who will face Cena at Extreme Rules, Brock Lesnar.
Lesnar’s music hits and he comes down to the ring as Michael Cole runs down his list of accolades. Lesnar shakes hands with Laurinaitis before grabbing the microphone to personally thank Laurinaitis for having the wisdom to bring back legitimacy to the WWE. Lesnar is then cut off by Cena’s music. Cena comes down to the ring and slaps Lesnar across the face. Lesnar takes Cena down as referees, agents and wrestlers run out to the ring to separate the melee. The ring is filled with more than 20 people and Cena has been busted open in the mouth, but that doesn’t stop him from breaking through the pile and going after Lesnar once more.
Order seems to be restored for a moment until Lesnar tears after Cena once again and the wrestlers finally pull Lesnar out of the ring to get the two away from each other. Lesnar finally starts to walk away as we head into a commercial break.
We return to the show to see a replay of what just went down between Brock Lesnar and John Cena. They also show a slow motion replay of the punch that busted Cena open. We then head backstage where Laurinaitis is berating Teddy Long for not controlling Cena and says it is his fault. Laurinaitis demands that he gets an explanation from Cena for his actions. Eve then walks in and says that she wants to talk with him. She says he has her number and call her sometime before walking away.
Match 1: Brodus Clay & Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler
A recap of what happened after last week’s three way match between Santino, Swagger and Ziggler is aired. This brings us to tonight’s tag team match between these four. The bell rings as Santino squares off against Ziggler, who quickly takes Santino down a few times to pick up some one counts. Swagger and Brodus are tagged in and Brodus easily takes Swagger down but Swagger comes back and takes Brodus down at the knees. Swagger continues on the attack as we head into a commercial break.
We return to the match and see Ziggler hit an elbow drop on Santino for a near fall. Swagger is tagged back in and continues to wear Santino down and picks up another near fall after slamming Santino down. Ziggler comes back in and Santino tries to go with a small package, but Ziggler kicks out and quickly takes Santino back down. The crowd start a “Funkasaurus!” chant as he is finally tagged back in and hits Ziggler with a series of power moves. Brodus then hits the splash on Ziggler to pick up the pin fall. Brodus and Santino then dance to celebrate their victory.
The Miz is backstage with John Laurinaitis but he says he is busy tonight and will talk to him next week. Teddy Long comes back with John Cena and Cena says Laurinaitis had to get Brock Lesnar back to take him out. Cena says he is legit and wants to fight tonight and lets him pick his opponent. Cena leaves as Laurinaitis tells Long to tell David Otunga that he is facing Cena tonight.
Santino Marella is backstage looking around for the Three Stooges but nobody knows where they are at. We then see footage of Mark Henry beating down CM Punk last week after their match. Henry will get another shot at the WWE Championship tonight as we head into another commercial break.
A shot of the Washington Monument is shown before we see another replay of what went down at the beginning of the show between John Cena and Brock Lesnar. Santino Marella is still backstage looking around for the Three Stooges when he runs into Kane. Santino asks Kane if he has seen them but Kane just stares him down until Santino quickly walks away.
Match 2: R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes
The march starts and Truth quickly takes Rhodes down but Rhodes quickly comes back and takes Truth down with an Alabama Slam. The Big Show’s music then hits as he gets Rhodes to look at video of what happened to him last week. The distraction allows Truth to hit Rhodes with the Little Jimmy to pick up the pin fall.
Santino continues to walk around backstage and sees a huge crate that says fragile on it. Santino opens it up and the Three Stooges come out. Santino asks what the have planned for tonight as we are treated to some of the usual Three Stooges antics. Santino the shows Moe how to do the Cobra as the three try to come up with a plan of what to do tonight for the audience as we head into a commercial break. I would have been perfectly fine watching Santino look around for the Stooges and never finding them.
Shanon and Marc Parker of SyFy’s Dream Machines is seen sitting in the front row. John Cena will be on that show in the near future. This brings us into out next match of the night.
Match 3: Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Tatsu asked for this match after taking offense to Lord Tensai. The announce team continue to talk about Tensai’s past in the WWE but still fail to mention that he was Prince Albert. Tensai quickly takes Tatsu down and hits him with a barage of headbutts. Tensai then hits Tatsu with a senton splash as the fans in DC begin an “Albert!” chant. Tensai continues on the attack until the referee calls for the bell and awards the match to Lord Tensai. Tensai then spits the mist into his hand and locks Tatsu in a claw for a while before finally letting go.
Footage of Chris Jericho smashing a whisky bottle over CM Punk’s head is aired. CM Punk will be defending the WWE Championship tonight against Mark Henry and that match is up next.
Did you know WrestleMania broke the Miami’s Sun Life Stadium attendance record. We then head to the announce table where we are told 30 injured soldiers are in attendance for tonight’s show. Footage of Chris Jericho’s attack on CM Punk last week is aired again, which brings us into our next match of the night.
CM Punk grabs the microphone prior to the match and says he wants to break the silence that has been surrounding him. Punk explains what being straight edge means to him and says it’s a way of life for him. The reason his is straight edge means a lot to him and he doesn’t let people know about the reasons because he doesn’t want people to feel sorry for him. Jericho then comes along and destroyed the privacy he has tried to keep. None of which got under his skin and he made Jericho tap out at WrestleMania.
Now Jericho has taken it one step too far by pouring whisky all over his body and smashing a bottle over the back of his head. Punk says he wasn’t thinking about how badly he was hurt as he was lying there, but how he smelled exactly as his father did. Punk continues to go on but he is cut off by Jericho on the Titantron. Jericho asks Punk if he is still hungover and says Punk will get used to it. Jericho asks if Punk is a little tipsy tonight and if we are witnessing him in his first bender.
Jericho says when people see Punk, they don’t see a champion but a pathetic loser. Jericho continues says he didn’t just force him to have his first drink of alcohol, but he forced him to feel what it is like to be CM Drunk. Punk says Jericho cannot break him and he just made the biggest mistake of his life. Punk says he will use his bad memories against Jericho as it is no longer about him being the best in the world, but about him kicking Jericho’s ass. Mark Henry’s music then hits as we head into the next match of the night after the commercial break.
Match 4: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (WWE Championship)
We return from the break and hear the bell sound as Punk goes right after Henry with a flurry of strikes and knees. Henry fires back and takes Punk down with a clothesline that knocks Punk out to the floor. Punk then grabs a monitor from the announce table and nails Henry with it as the referee calls for the bell and disqualifies Punk.
Punk heads to the apron and is about to throw the monitor down on Henry but Punk is distracted by Jericho’s music. Jericho comes out with a couple of 12 packs of beer as Henry gets up and rams Punk into the apron. Henry rolls Punk into the ring and gives him a World’s Strongest Slam as Jericho makes his way to the ring with the beer. Henry leaves as Jericho opens a beer but Punk gets up and takes Jericho down. Punk hits Jericho with a series of punches but Jericho is able to comeback and takes Punk down with the Codebreaker.
With Punk down, Jericho begins opening beer after beer and pouring them over his face a body. Jericho says it’s all for him and tells him to drink it all in. Referees finally come into the ring and get Jericho to stop as Punk drags himself to his feet. Punk begins making his way towards Jericho but he takes Punk down with another Codebreaker. Jericho then grabs the WWE Championship and poses with it as we head into a commercial break.
Match 5: Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio comes out in a Mercedes as Ricardo Rodriguez introduces him to the ring. We then see footage of how Del Rio cheated a victory out of Sheamus last Friday night on Smackdown. The bell ring and Del Rio quickly takes Ryder down and picks up a couple of quick near falls. Del Rio continues on the attack until Ryder counters with a knee. Ryder then goes for the Rough Ryder but Del Rio counters and puts Ryder in the cross arm breaker to pick up the submission victory.
The Three Stooges are seen walking around backstage as Curly comes up with an idea and tells the other two that he will meet them out in the ring as we head into a commercial break.
The Three Stooges are introduced as Larry and Moe run out to the ring to a chorus of boos from the crowd in DC. Hulk Hogan’s “Real American” music hits as Curly comes out in full Hogan gear. Moe then helps Curly lower his voice as he busts out a Hogan impersonation to little or no ovation. Curly hypes the Three Stooges movie until Kane’s pyro interrupts them. Kane makes his way to the ring as Larry and Moe run to the back. Curly stands up to Kane and gets a chokeslam for his troubles.
Josh Mathews is backstage with Mark Henry and says he beat CM Punk last week by countout and this week by disqualification. After talking to John Laurinaitis, next week will be a no disqualification match and he will become the next WWE Championship. I guess Laurinaitis found some time to talk to Henry and nobody else.
We join the announce team who recap what happened between Brock Lesnar and John Cena earlier tonight. Josh Mathews is backstage with Brock Lesnar and says he left WWE eight years ago and went on to become UFC Heavyweight Champion. Lesnar says he is proud to be back in the WWE and back at the top. He says he isn’t there to make any friends and he is proud of that. He isn’t as proud, though, as all of the WWE suits and fans are to have him back.
The announce team then talk about the “End of an Era” match between the Undertaker and Triple H. Video and photos of the match are shown as wrestlers give their thoughts and feelings of the match. The Undertaker, Triple H and Shawn Michaels all walking out together is shown as Jerry Lawler says there may never be another match like it.
Match 6: David Otunga vs. John Cena
John Laurinaitis is ringside for this match. Cena is sporting a fat lip from Lesnar’s right fist that connected with his face earlier in the night. The bell sounds as the DC crowd immediately begin a “Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks!” chant. The two go back and forth in the opening moments with neither getting the upper hand. Cena ends up eating the turnbuckle and Otunga takes control of the match a wears Cena down with a series of strikes and clotheslines. Otunga begins to showboat a bit and poses before picking up a near fall after hitting a shoulder block.
Otunga continues to wear Cena down with a headlock before posing some more. This gives Cena an opening to fight his way back into the match and hits Otunga with a series of shoulder blocks and then a Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena then hits Otunga with an Attitude Adjustment before locking him in an STFU to pick up the submission victory. After the match, Brock Lesnar runs into the ring and takes Cena down from behind with a low blow. Lesnar then takes Cena down with another F5 and stares down at him laying on the canvas. John Laurinaitis is seen clapping from the ringside area and Lesnar leaves the ring as Raw comes to a close.
Starman’s Thoughts
Tonight’s show started out pretty hot but turned out fell flat after the opening segment. It seemed more of the same from last week’s show, minus the hot post-WrestleMania crowd. I was expecting a little more on Brock Lesnar’s return and could have used a lot less Three Stooges.
Quick Results
– Brodus Clay & Santino Marella defeated Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler by pin fall.
– R-Truth defeated Cody Rhodes by pin fall.
– Lord Tensai defeated Yoshi Tatsu by a referee’s decision.
– Mark Henry defeated CM Punk by disqualification.
– Alberto Del Rio defeated Zack Ryder by submission.
– John Cena defeated David Otunga by submission.